2012 reviewed, well almost

I noticed an amusing if not cynical look at the Channel 4 programme "The 50 funniest moments of 2012".  It was punctuated by the fact that "Youtube" has all, funnier and more interesting clips from the year and further back.  Coupled with the fact that 2 "insufferables" from X factor were presenting the programme made it a programme not only "not to remember" but also probably not to watch until the bitter end.

With that in mind then I shall be brief on my reflection. -----  Our 2012 was to be punctuated by a number of "events" to be remembered for one reason or another so here go's

I bought a van in Jan which would be the replacement for my beloved Freelander "Phil" well i say replacement, not really, the first time i took the van "cyril" to our logging area i got it stuck!  anyway hes lots more MPG a little dearer to insure but nothing like a 4WD.

Feb and the snow came the kittens loved it but unfortunately the day after the snow our beloved Tesco was hit by a car on the road and everything went a little flat for a while

Here she is pretending to be a christmas present last year.  She's really waiting for us to look away so she can either climb the tree or remove a red bauble or two.

Feb however was time for us to jet off to the Maldives and have 8 days in paradise on Kurumba island resort.  We enjoyed it so much we decided to scrap our trip to Australia later in the year!

Returning home we eventually let little Sainsbury have his head and let him out at night.  Out theory was that it would be safer for him to be out at night rather than keeping him in and him wanting to wander in the daytime.  So far a success but the amount of livestock or more to the point deadstock we find in the kitchen in the morning is staggering

The morning of the shrews is depicted here but he also had 2 mice as well which had been devoured.

I had decided to write a book about my time on the Army and estimated a year to do it!  sadly underestimated!!!! but I'm getting there!

I had hoped to get some logging done in summer but the wet weather made it almost impossible to get onto the land where the trees are so in the end i more or less gave up on the idea.

The walking challenge for 2012 was to be the "Welsh 15 Peaks".  Quite an arduous walk, so some serious training was called for and old friend from Hereford was press ganged into joining our merry band.  Unfortunately the weather was seriously against us and we had to abandon our second day

Here we are having done Tryfan and being soaked with the idea of another 7 hour walk about to abandon the day.
 I returned in Sept to do the missed peaks and had a superb day.

A view of Tryfan from the Glyders

Looking back up to the Glyders on a fabulous day from our abandon position way back in June. Unfortunately Ginny one of our group went the following week with Adam our guide and the weather was appalling once again.

Both Sally and I give Cyril a hard time but i think "her" effort wins! 

The summer ended as it had begun, very wet and we waltzed into Oct with two "things" in mind. Sally's finishing work!  she finished on the 19th Oct and our for our second "thing" we jetted off a few days later for 2 weeks in the Maldives at Kurumba island resort.  Once again it was a fabulous holiday, fantastic staff great food spacious accommodation.  We did however decide that that would be our 9th and last time we would visit the maldives.  We should really have gone to Oz!  

So the sun sets on our last Maldives experience.  Mmmmmmmmmm

Returning to Gatwick was followed by "short stay" at the Gatwick Europa which can only be described as "Fawlty Towers"  Recommendation - "Dont stay there".  On arriving back home and picking up the cats from "Stankirk Kennels" our feeding instructions had been ignored, Recommendation - "Dont let your animals stay there". 

Settling back into "normal" life was strange because every time i arrived home from work there was Sally!, rather than being at work until 1730 ish.  Over time i got used to it! 

Boris gets a carport to shield him from the rain and forthcoming snow

After a bit of a cold snap

when the over the river pic for my next time lapse project looked stunning we returned to the very wet and rainy weather that seems to have dogged us for most of the year.

My job at "the Shop" namely Sainsbugs Matlock has been generally amusing and will, i hope continue into the new year. 

New Year resolutions, - -  Mmmmmmm, don't really go for them but hopefully in 2013 I will, - - - - get on and finish "the Book",  Enjoy the "challenge" of "Ice climbing on Ben Nevis" the first week in March, get some trees chopped down in the summer and generally have a good year!

Finally then - - - here we sit at 1700 on the 31/12/2012 sipping a bottle of fiz looking forward to a Chinese culinary masterpiece cooked by Sally, taken from one of our trips to Hong Kong where it is already 2013! 

All the best, a Happy New Year.

Enjoy the day    

Becks acts the Girlie and we have Hysterical tearful shoppers

A colleague from the Bakery, "lets call her Becks", arrived late for work and exclaimed that she had had a puncture.  It only took a little time to get the full story that she had to get a neighbour to change the flat because she was having a "Girlie" moment.  She's quite a go getter and i was surprised when i heard of the girlie moment needing a "man" to change the flat. 

I, mistakenly! took her to task about the Girlie moment when the Boss, "Lets call her TracEy" was alongside and TracEy's answer to a flat is "Call for the husband!"  I retreated to the bread isle!

Some funny if not dumb questions have been asked the last few days, mainly in the direction of why we wouldn't be getting more Christmas stock in?! A couple of colleagues were packing a shelf with the left over Christmas cards on an effort to get rid of them when a woman looked at the display then commented, "There isn't much of a selection!"

My customers dumb question came after she asked if we stocked Nimble bread to which i replied in the negative.  At the time i pointed to the weightwatchers bread as an alternative.  She asked me if i knew which was nearest the nimble bread in nutritional value and left grumbling when i again answered in the negative.  She seemed to think i would know the difference even though we didn't stock the nimble item!!!!!!!   Along with that i have never been one who wants or needs to know or gives a toss whats in the bread. hey ho. 

Another rather funny moment today was when one old dear wandered "into" the actual bakery as if it was part of the shop, complete with trolley and looking around as if she was perusing the shelves!  She was ushered out and wandered off one her way! 

My "cracker" for the day though appeared alongside what i was doing with a well stocked trolley, clutching a large piece of paper and who immediately she had my attention bust into tears.  Through the sobs i gathered that this was not her local store, she was also shopping for her daughter and that "you must help me because i cant find any of these things!". 

I calmed her down grabbed the trolley and with the 4 items she wanted in my shop mapped brain quickly found what she wanted and was sent her on her way to the check outs. It was at this juncture she explained that her (lazy git of a) husband had been sat in the shop cafe the whole time ignoring her pleas, strangely enough over the mobile phone, for help. 

As it had been a good day i refrained from wandering down and telling him what a prat he was and went back to what i had been doing previously.

So there we go folks it looks as if we are going to have another shopping frenzy tomorrow and Monday.  Roll on 2013!

Enjoy the day!



  

TracEy turns white wine to rose! & the shop does well!

All the colleagues work up until Christmas eve seemed to have paid off in the shop with the news that in the 7 days to xmas eve the shop took £1.1 million.  That was £40k over the target the store manager set and another 10% over the company target for the period.

We still have a number of mince pies and Christmas puddings but I'm sure they will all go soon.  One item that makes me wonder whats in it has a best before date of Mar 2015!  

One slight dampener on the festive cheer was an accident the bakery boss, "lets call her TracEy" had.  She was leaving work and had a  bottle of white wine in her shopping bag.  Having gone down a couple of stair steps she realised she had forgotten to clock out and turned to go back up the stairs.

She tripped on a step and put down her hand as the wine bottle shattered underneath it and sliced 2 of her fingers.  She described the wine as changing from white to Rose!  Some butterfly stitches later she reports them as being very sore!  Here's a pic of the bandaged digits.

  So having survived Christmas we only have the New Year to get passed and we can get back to normal.

Finally then  - - - i think the next Blog might be a reflection on the year! 

Enjoy the day  

Merry Christmas

So here we are then, Christmas Day lots of presents being opened here in UK with NORAD reporting Santa is just about delivering the last of the presents in America. 

Sally and I skyped our friend Sharon in Canada yesterday and she showed us around her new house as well as commenting on the fact that she had not wrapped a present yet and that 13 people were due in a few hours for some kind of Christmas Eve do.  This is typical of Sharon who always manages to pull it off at the appointed time!

Years ago i put in a calendar somewhere online an old friends birthday which falls on Christmas day.  That must be a real drag as a child because you are bound to get the old old story of, "well yes that's for your birthday and Christmas!  Sadly this friend died not long ago so its with a tinge of sadness that I leave the reminder running in the long forgotten calendar.  All the best to the memory of Chris. 

But the world go's on and the fire is roaring and we will no doubt be having our bucks fizz soon along with the traditional Christmas Day breakfast of smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on toast! mmmmmm!

Later we will pop down to our local for a couple of drinks before returning to tackle a Christmas dinner rather than the steak and chips that we normally have on Christmas day.  We'll listen to what the Queen has to say intently and not be able to remember any of it tomorrow, before watching a film or two and having a few drinks. 

I managed yesterday to complete the little project i picked up from my brother in law.  He was going to dump an old cast iron fire grate and asked if i wanted it.
here's the pic of the grate in the back of Boris the day we picked it up

it looked a bit daunting but the work required was just to wire brush off all the rust and apply some grate paste.  By far the most time consuming was getting the brasswork looking decent. 
here's the pic of the finished item

We have no intention of using it so once i have established its pedigree i will probably sell it.  any offers out there? 
I have sent off the dimensions etc to an online company who sell a reproduction that's not amillion miles away from the look of this one for around £200. 
Compiling the data i weighed the individual bits and was surprised to find that the brass "dogs" either side of the fire basket weigh 4lbs each and the total weight of the fire is 117lbs! 

Finally then - - - - have a good Christmas day and don't forget the old adage of "Everything in moderation".   

Enjoy the day

Hello!? is anybody there?

As I emerge from my bunker I look around and wonder what the devastation will resemble after the end of the world last night at 2321hrs GMT.   - - - - - - Ah! but wait!, everything looks the same?  There we are then I knew it wasn't going to happen, said with righteous indignation tinged with a bit of relief!   

You have to laugh though at the ones who were really taken in by the whole thing.  I guess it just shows how if you tell some people often enough that something will happen a number of them will believe it and sweep countless others along with them in the hysteria. 

I read that some of these cults who predict "the end of the world" actually get more members when it doesn't happen!  Mind you I'm sure some will remember the tragedy of the "Heavens Gate" cult back in 1997.  39 of them committed suicide on the 26th of March in the belief that they would be able to board an alien spacecraft that they believed was following the Hale-Bopp comet which passed close to earth at that time.   So there we go, the best thing to do is keep your head down keep paying the taxes and wait until you fall off your perch!

This morning, thankful in many ways the world had not ended I made an early morning raid where i work at the local sainsbugs in Matlock to get all the non perishable items on Sally's Christmas shopping list. We will be raiding again tomorrow to get the perishables!   Even though it was only 8am the shop had been open an hour and was filling up rapidly.  I strolled around as casually as i could carefully avoiding the bug eyed customers, many who had trolleys full to the brim.  One woman appeared almost hysterical as her partner seemed unable to keep up with her as he was pushing "the 2nd trolley" of shopping. 

At the check out i proffered my colleague discount card and a couple of money off coupons to reduce the hit and then played my piece de Resistance by handing over my Nectar card which had enough points on it to cover what was left.  I was asked to pay 27p to avoid overpaying on the nectar card and stole out into the pouring rain with a smug grin on my face with my haul!

A little project i picked up not long ago was a Georgian or Victorian cast iron and brass Fire Grate and fender.  I picked it up from Sally's sister and her husband who said it was in their cottage when they moved in.  It needs a bit of work but will look splendid when its cleaned up.
here's a pic of it the day we got it. 

It weighs over a 100lbs and has some lovely brass work on it which is taking some time to clean the muck off.  I'm trying coca cola on some of the fiddly bits as well as a mixture of lemon juice and vinegar  which is a concoction i picked up on the net for cleaning heavily tarnished brass. 

The good old "duraglit" is taking its toll on the fender along with some spirited elbow grease.  Here's a pic of part of the fender representing a before shot of the gunge on it.

About an hour later here's the after shot or in fact the other end of the fender which I had been cleaning.

We might install it in what was the kitchen range location in the cottage in the old days but I'm still not sure if we might sell it on. 

Finally then - - - - With the rain still thrashing down I'm going to have an hour or two on the book I'm writing about my 30 years in the Army titled "Join the Army!? you'll regret that!" then get "down and dirty" with the brass cleaning again!

Enjoy the day

The world ends today at 2321hrs!

The story about the world ending because the Mayan calendar does not go further than today has, for me taken another turn by the discovery of the exact time of the Apocalypse.  "The end" is exactly at 2321 GMT tonight!

I gleaned this nugget whilst trawling the news on the Internet.  Once again the Daily Telegraph seems to, in my opinion win the day with "their man in Burgerach" a small, in fact very small town in France.  Some of his reported stories from the locals and "pilgrims" are very funny, and as is usual in this modern age, "readers" can comment on the story with their own opinions.  I would urge you to follow this link for a bit of hilarity the end is nigh unless your in Burgerach. 

Having read the article and found it so funny i continued on to the readers opinions.  One "contributor" under the name of "believekingdavid" quotes chapter and verse, with a longer than necessary rant from the bible to disprove the end of the world theory.  I must admit to being more in line with the next contributor going under the name of "Mister Snoobs" who pronounces "belivekingdavid's" piece as "Anthropocentric bolloxspeak".  I have added the first word, having had to look its meaning up, to my vocabulary, the second is kinda self explanatory!

So it is then with a kind of resignation that i look at my broken little finger on my right hand and look forward to the pain ending at 2321hrs tonight.  I pranged it the other day and the colours it turned have been truly amazing so here's a pic of it on day 2

With all the rain we have been having over the past 24hrs the River Derwent level has risen somewhat so here's yesterday pic of the same.

Finally then some might recall yesterday's blog where i expressed my indignation at having to take in my passport to work to prove i have the right to work in the UK.
I have doctored the photo a little and will present it today!

Enjoy the day - - - - - - it might be your last!   

A right Royal Christmas & The world ends tomorrow!

Sally (my wife to the uninitiated) pointed out a rather amusing take on how much the present Royal Family have influenced our "Christmas activities" So please excuse my infringement of the Daily Telegraph" copyright although i don't suppose they'll be too miffed as I'm including a link to the article on their pages
Article by Harry Mount Daily Telegraph 

Being the cynic that i am i particularly liked the couple of opening paragraphs along with the last one which i shall include here.

When you stop to think about it, the British choose a pretty odd way to celebrate the birth of a Jewish prophet 2,000 years ago. It’s hard to see the connection between an emergency delivery in a stable near the West Bank of the River Jordan, and an annual overeating festival followed by a word from our monarch, then several more words from James Bond. Not many Christmas trees grow in the Middle East.

Our Christmas rituals were devised by an accidental amalgam of Christian liturgy, pagan rites, the monarchy and John Logie Baird.

Still, not everything at Sandringham is cryonised in Victorian aspic. In recent years, at least one new royal Christmas tradition has been minted: the ritual exclusion of Fergie from Christmas lunch. Or – as the practice of disinviting unpopular relatives is known in Germany – NeinInvitenDasToeSucker.

So there I was then working my last shift before xmas only 20 minutes or so to go completing some "reductions" and enjoying a little banter with one of the "fresh colleagues", "lets call her Lucy".  When this old guy shoulders past me to look at a particular festive item going under the name of a "Basic Yule log".  This particular item which we had not had before I had found earlier in lets just say "the wrong location" in the warehouse but had decided to put it in the display anyway. 

He was obviously doing his Christmas shop because he said "why cant these basic yule logs have a date on them past Christmas?" His comment seemed fair enough as the best before date displayed was the 23rd Dec.  I mentioned the store only just having received them and in an attempt to indicate that as they were a "fresh cream" item they were unlikely to have a long period of "fresheness".  I added "there's not a lot I can do about that". 

He said nothing but just looked at me, Lucy, attempting to defuse the impasse quickly scanned the item and told the old guy that more would be coming in on Saturday next.  He looked at me and said, "You could have said that rather than what you did say!".  I thanked him for his suggestion and checked my watch before going back to the reductions. 

The moral of this story is that to talk to 2 people does not always guarantee"communication".  This is especially true when one of them has already done 7 and a half hours of their shift and the other only 30 minutes of theirs!  I encountered him a couple of minutes later in the bread isle looking for mince pies and gave him my "5 star treatment!"

A little earlier I had encountered our HR Manager, "lets call her Hazel".  A point here, its been quite a while now that any number of businesses have had "Human Resources" rather than the old name for this office, "Personnel"  I enjoyed much better being a "Personnel" rather than a "Resource", however I digress.  "We need to see your passport", says Hazel.  This apparently is to ensure that Sainsbury's do not employ illegal immigrants and to peruse my passport will satisfy this need!!!!!!.  I've been working and paying NI etc since i was 15 years and  8 days old on the 17th Feb 1961!  In fact i am now old enough not to be paying NI.  Surely if i was an "illegal" i would have been routed out now.  I'm still not sure if this is a windup but intend to watch carefully what is done with my much used passport when i hand it over!

Finally then, - - -  "its the end of the world tomorrow" as reported in my last blog because a bunch of people from a defunct civilisation forgot to renew their calendar subscription!  so tread carefully out there.  - - - Enjoy the day

 

Kids Hey? & more mince pies!

You have to have lived in a cave not to have read about those poor kids in the Connecticut school shootings, made all the more tragic that they were so, so young.  In the shop today a number of times I would see kids of their age getting all exited as Christmas gets nearer and in some cases getting on the edge of being a pain for their parents.  I looked into the eyes of one mother on the point of losing it with her daughter and just said, "kids hey", i think she knew where i was coming from. 

You have to imagine the pain for the parents over there, no one expects their kids to die before them but to lose kids in such a violent way it must be difficult to take it all in.  No doubt the presents are wrapped up and under the trees just like we do over here.  I wonder how many unopened presents will be kept for years with it being to painful to do anything else with them!

However, life go's on and as we rush towards the, "end of the world", did i just say end of the world? It appears the Mayan calendar which runs in 144000 day cycles ends on Friday 21st Dec.  This has been used to whip "some" people into believing that the world will end on that day. 

I read an article that shows up the old adage of "you can fool some of the people, all of the time".  In California there's a company selling and installing, for over half a million dollars a shelter that will let you "survive the end of the world" Think about it for just a short while!

Good news down at the shop, my blog of the 1st Dec talked about an elderly customer having to have her "maturity" gland scanned.  I saw her yesterday and it appears all is well with her!

I've also mentioned the chaos in the warehouse area of the shop due to us not being able to display and store some of the Christmas items on the shop floor.  Well on Sunday last one of my concerns came true.  As you can imagine with shoppers "in their Christmas buying frenzy", we are continually having to replenish the shelves. 

I noticed Sunday that our bargain "mince pies at 2 for £2" were going pretty well and decided to go fetch another box from the warehouse.  Now it would be too easy just to pick up the nearest box from one the various piles.  The idea however is to get the ones with the nearest "best by" date out first so we don't finish up having to "re-cycle them" 

I hunted around and eventually came across one box that shall we say, "should have been rec-cycled".  Not to be deterred i took it to the colleagues in the bakery who seemed to be generating plenty of custom offering items we needed to get rid of as "samples" to the customers.  The type of items i am describing here are generally ones that have been selling slowly and need a,"bit of a boost"

The mince pies were then displayed in all their glory alongside the other items and in true shopper enthusiasm, a bit of a scrum developed.  I left the shop soon after because my shift ended but was confronted by a smiling colleague on Monday claiming that the "tasting" generated so much enthusiasm we sold 3 boxes (36 units) in as many minutes.  Only 134 boxes to go then!

We had a period of pretty cold frosty weather a few days ago and it generated that wonderful hoar frost on the trees and landscape that makes you think you have switched your camera to the black and white setting.  So here are a few pics to view

A row of trees near the river

The view across the River Derwent

 



Our garden looking very cold!

 



 Finally then I see one of the policemen involved in the Andrew Mitchell "plebgate" row has been arrested for leaking details about the incident from his logbook.  I fear the ex ministers bicycle might be in custody by Friday before "the world ends!" 

Enjoy the day - - - give your kids an extra hug today!  

the shoppers are in a frenzy & a ghost Walter Mitty from the past

Yes its that time again, the shop (Matlock sainsbugs) is awash with bug eyed shoppers who seem to have forgotten or are in such a Christmas shopping panic that they don't know where anything is. 

There's a constant stream of people asking for the normal xmas stuff but also the everyday bits and bobs they buy every week!  I put it down to the Christmassy songs that are played in the store it seems to plunge them into the "frenzy"

From a "Bakery Colleague" point of view we seem to be lost in a sea of Christmas puddings and mince pies!  We have/had a procedure that takes the storing of hundreds of mince pies and Christmas pudding a little easier.  In late November either side of the cake isle gets a lid on it and the Christmas puddings are tastefully arranged along one side of the top.  we then stack up around 40 cases of mice pies on the other "lid" of the isle. 

This year the mince pie lid never appeared and the Christmas pudding one was taken down a week or so after it was erected.  So the warehouse resembles a tip and we are in danger of having to walk across the top of all the merchandise just to get from one end to the other. 

On a completely different theme - - - - Having had a rather colourful and exiting military career it only takes the odd "detail" to be mentioned before people realise you were involved with a rather "special" unit. In various conversations with some people over the years who claim to have been "a member" it only takes a few pointed questions to expose them as a "Walter Mitty" and ignore them. 

It was interesting then to talk to our "Security man" at the shop, "lets call him Ian", who claimed that his next door neighbour had said "oh yes i went over the balcony".  This was meant to be a reference to being part of the team that ended the siege of the Iranian Embassy at 16 Princess Gate in London on the 5th of may 1980. 

Having the full name of this alleged "team member" it only took an e mail to a friend in Hereford and a forwarded e mail to another in Spain to check the full roll call of the assault teams to confirm that this person could not have been part of "the team"

Its ironic though that so many people claim to have been there that if they were "actually there",  there would have been so many black overalled gas masked characters in the building they would have been shoulder to shoulder and stacked "22" high.  

Finally then --- Malcolm (Mel) Roy Edwards, you are a fake and a Walter Mitty.  I will pass to you, a copy of the e mail from one of the assault group commanders when/if I ever meet you.

Enjoy the day

We have a recycle point close by - now they want us to have a "traveller site!"

It was years ago when a proposal to reopen the railway line from Matlock to Buxton was proposed.  A feasibility study then a survey were undertaken at great expense and then the plan was dropped as being too expensive. 

As the idea would have meant freight trains trundling within 50 metres of our front door day and night we were rather pleased that it didn't go ahead.  The old railway bed, long gone provides a pleasant area to walk along the River Derwent up to Rowsley and an entrance to the local steam railway business of Peak Rail and we rather liked it like that. 

A number of Gypsies moved onto part of the land and stayed for a couple of years before eventually being moved off the land.  They brought with them the usual piles of rubbish, used the river bank as a toilet and we paid regularly through our council taxes to have the area cleaned up.  We were rather pleased when they left.

A council depot sprang up on the old gypsy site, ah ha! we thought that's why they moved them on, it made sense now!  the depot isn't noisy and provides a few jobs so no problem there. 

The local Parish council galvanised itself into action 3 years or so ago because a "Recycling Point" was proposed on a part of the old rail bed opposite the council depot and like the NIMBY's we are we rushed to sign the petition to guard our little bit of nature.  All of a sudden concerned about the rare ferns, frogs and newts! 

All to no avail though the Recycling point was built, with a "nature conservancy" area inside its boundaries to assuage our concerns!  It has to be said it is rather handy being able to pop 300 metres down the road to get rid of unwanted items.  Although with the dazzling array of multi coloured topped bins we have just acquired means I make fewer trips as long as you can figure out which bin to put out when!  That reminds me I must extract my "Mistral Malibu Windsurfer" from the stairwell and get that to the dump unless anyone wants it for free?  (make a blog comment if your interested)

However i digress, so there I was yesterday having taken Sally and a work colleague, "lets call her Debs" to lunch at "The Barrell at Bretton" we returned safely to the warmth of our cottage to find a hand delivered envelope on the door mat. 

A hastily prepared note informed us that a "Permanent Travellers Site" was proposed on the rail bed land behind the "Shalimar" Indian restaurant 150 metres down the road.  The note go's on to say that the proposal is "Agenda item 6" at the Derbyshire Dales District Council meeting in "2 days time!"

The proposal has been requested by the "Derbyshire Gypsy Liaison Group" .  The details inform us that there are 3 sites in our Parish being considered but the one mentioned above is the one "favoured as most suitable".

If you google "Derbyshire Gypsy Liaison Group" and look into it one of their "complaints" is that proposed sites are often in "unsuitable" positions due to being near "waste sites and main roads".  The proposed site behind the "Shalimar" is within a hundred meters of the recycle point and 10 metres of the main road.  "I think i smell a rat here!

Finally then - - Why if these people are, "Travellers" do they need a permanent site?"

Enjoy the day. 

where's the snow? & other bits

Lots of doom and gloom over the "Beast from the east" which is a reference to an icy blast from Siberia that is about to bring -20c and lots of snow.  Well that's what the papers and sooth sayers will have us believe. 

That said though it has been pretty cold so I will be putting the pond filter in its polystyrene box today in an attempt to stop it freezing up.  I like to leave the pump and filter going even in winter and the UV light in the top of the filter box (hopefully) provides a bit of heat to also stop it freezing. 

It might be cold outside but little Sainsbury knows a nice warm place!

The shop is full of customers in Christmas "frenzy" mode as reported by Sally when she popped down for a few things yesterday.  I was thinking back to my last shift and remembered a tale i had not already blogged.  A normally mild mannered night shift colleague, "lets call him Simon" was really having a go at the temporary night shift manager. 

Simon is a hard worker, and started the same day as me back in Oct 2008, and the impression i got was that he was being taken for a mug in the handing out of the nightly tasks.  They it seems are given tasks and a time to complete it in.  He appears to be getting more tasks than a couple of named others and was complaining about it.  The temporary night shift manager is a stranger from the Ripley store and all i have seen him do is stand around with his hands in his pockets.  Maybe there's going to be "trouble at t mill" for the night shift as we gallop towards Christmas.

2 Girls, early 20's were walking down the bread isle and one was feeling the seat of her pants.  She then lifted her coat and her friend looked at her bottom just as they both noticed me looking at them at the far end of the isle with an amused grin on my face. 

"She thought she had a wet patch", says the second girl grinning at the situation they were in.  "Our Tena Lady range is a couple of isles back up there!" i motioned as they burst into fits of giggles and went on their way. 

We (Sally and I) went up to our stash of firewood at a friends farm the other day to pick up at bit of wood.  It was bitterly cold but we set fire to one of the piles of twigs that i had stacked when i was felling the trees last year. 

I wondered how many critters might be in there but only saw one rabbit making a dash for a warren up on the hillside from the fire. 

In our garden we have a miniature apple tree and it seems to be grimly hanging on to some of the fruit.  I was about to take them off when i noticed a blackbird pecking at one of the apples and decided to leave them be

The pic shows the apple in question with more ready for the birds. 

Finally then - - - A bloke in a very nice but damaged Range Rover drives into the yard of a local haulage firm and remonstrates with the owner about the damage one of the lorries has done to his vehicle.

The haulage firm owner looks at the damage which is confined to the bonnet and front of the Range Rover and asks how it happened.  He was a little confused as to why none of his drivers had not reported the accident and listened intently to the Range Rover driver. 

It appears the lorry was returning to the yard and the driver had stopped it outside a shop to buy something.  The Range Rover had pulled up behind the lorry and inadvertently run into the back of the lorry while the driver was in the shop! 

The haulage firm owner, a patient man!, listened intently to the protestations of the Range Rover driver before handing over his insurance details and watching with a wry grin on his face as the man drove out of the yard.

Enjoy the day, mind the snow!   

"Does it hurt when I press like this?" she said

Does it hurt when I press like this? the nurse practitioner asked as she pressed my abdomen with her purple and silver nail varnished hands where my appendix resided.  The purple matched a shock of her hair which was fashionably dyed as well!

We in Darley Dale are lucky to be able to phone the local practice and get an appointment the same day which i understand is difficult or impossible in some areas.  Anyway I had phoned Thursday morning at 0830 and been given an appointment at 10:30 with Ellen Manson the "Nurse Practitioner". 

I had wanted the appointment because for a number of days I had a niggling pain in the area of my appendix say 2 out of 10 on the pain scale but a kind of "notice" from your body that "all was not as it should be".  Ellen prodded and poked and decided to be on the safe side to send me to Chesterfield Hospital known locally as "Calow Hospital" as it is in the district of "Calow".  I didn't relish the idea but understood the logic and was resigned to a period of hanging around!

I have been to the hospital before and had reasonable experiences and when Sally my wife had a brush with breast cancer she could not fault the the whole experience although wouldn't wish it on anyone.  A friend of ours though had regaled us with 2 of her experiences and vows never to darken its doors again! 

Anyway my experience was not a pleasurable one and i know its a bit of a tome but below is my letter to Ellen, the wonderful "Nurse Practitioner" who has advised me to send a copy of it to the hospital by way of a complaint. I'll be following up the "pain" with Ellen if its still around in 10 days time!

 

I attended your clinic yesterday at 1030 complaining of a slight discomfort in my right lower abdomen and you referred me to the EMU at Calow Hospital.  
 

I am writing to you to ask if you can do anything to find out why I was treated the way I was by the Doctors at Calow.  I would also like this letter to be placed with my local records at the surgery.

I arrived at the hospital at 1210 and was directed to the EMU by the reception staff.  I only had to wait around 20 minutes before I was shown into a ward and allocated a bed.  A nurse attended me and we filled in a few forms and she took some blood to be analysed, this was around 1315.  She informed me that as my condition was undetermined at that time I would be NBM and a doctor would see me in due course.  I was offered pain relief medication but refused as the pain was not acute.

At around 1430 I was seen by a Doctor who introduced himself as George.  After a lengthy examination and because there were no other symptoms present he discounted Appendicitis.  He said he would need to review my case with other doctors and see the blood test results before coming to see me again.  He said I was to give urine sample which I did and the nurse reported that there, “was nothing untoward in it”. 

At 1630 I was wheeled from EMU to Portland ward without any explanation.  The nurses in Portland ward received me and filled in another number of forms.  I asked what would happen now but they appeared not to know. 

Just before 1800 a nurse visited me and said I might have to stay in overnight as they couldn’t determine who had seen me at EMU and therefore couldn’t arrange the follow up that “George” had promised.  I was told “George would have ended his sift at 1600.  (even though no one seemed to know who he was?)

I expressed a wish not to stay overnight and indicated that I wanted to leave the hospital at 1900 but was prepared to return the following morning if necessary.  I did this because I was still NBM and had not eaten since 0700 and not had liquid since 0900. 

The nurse contacted a Doctor (by bleeping?) and they promised to visit me by 1900 to review my case.  This did not happen so I walked to Portland ward reception and said I wanted to discharge myself. 

I was persuaded to sit in a waiting room while a nurse contacted another Doctor and was told I would be seen by 2000.  This did not happen and at 2000 I indicated I was leaving. 

I stood at the Portland reception desk while a nurse rang a Doctor to come and see me.  After a while she put down the phone and said “Why are some people so rude”.  I took this to be a reference to the phone conversation she had just had.  After another phone call she said someone would be with me in 20 minutes this was at 2015.  This did not happen.  I had indicated a number of times that I would be willing to leave the hospital and return the following day for whatever further investigation was required.  By the answers I received it became obvious that the Nurses could not sanction this request. 

At 2040 I asked for a pen and signed the self discharge form and included the time and date on the form.  I thanked the Nurse for her time and effort before leaving the hospital at 2045.  I was not rude and did not raise my voice at anytime during conversations with the staff.

I had explained to the staff present that I was leaving because I was exhausted, had not eaten since 0700 or had liquid since 0900 and had lost all confidence at seeing anyone who could give me permission to leave the hospital and return the following day. 

I understand that the Nurse attending me in Portland ward appended to my notes all the attempts to get a Doctor to come and see me between 1800 and 2040.

I fully understand that the hospitals are busy places and it takes time to get through the “sausage machine”, and hanging around is all part of the time it takes to get things done.  I couldn’t resolve In my own mind though why over 2 hours and 40 minutes and promises from 3 different Doctors why none could spare the time to see me.  

 The pain I had on attending your clinic yesterday is still there but I have taken just 2 paracetamol this morning and the pain has subsided.  This is the first pain relief medication I have tried. 

I don’t want to take up any more of your time than is necessary but I am mystified as to why the course of events took the path that they did?

"you dont eat chinese do you?" and the decs are up!

There i was doing my thing in the shop, its a busy day and I had already had a few "can you tell me's" from customers and risen to the occasion very well I thought.  However, there are the ones that you don't quite get along with and hey! here comes one now!

Quite distinguished looking lady long blondish hair even longer coat, well spoken, even "posh!" and "In a hurry!".  These types always are "In a hurry" which makes understanding what they want a little more, shall we say, challenging. 

"I need plum sauce and those pancakes to wrap my duck in" she says.  A look of confused amusement crosses my face, she tries again mentioning that the duck is "crispy" with a slightly irritated tone, her by the way not the duck.  Chinese pancakes I assume and wonder why she cant make them herself, anyway I find her the plumb sauce at the second pass as the "name" is hidden by the shelf ready packaging.  Why isn't the name in the middle of the label i think like all the others as her irritation rises to 5/10. 

We still haven't found the pancakes, eventually establishing that we don't do them and she snaps at me "you don't eat Chinese do you!"  I refrain from a really sarcastic comment like "No their flip flops are always a bit chewy!" but let her know I have visited Hong Kong 3 times in recent years and have had my fair share of Chinese food.  She settles on some thin wraps and rushes off to the check outs and probably some board meeting or other without so much of a thank you.  My shift returns to normal!

We have a briefing on a monthly basis which comes from on high and is delivered by "Justin" on a DVD, hes one of the top bods in Sainsbugs.  He tells us how well He/we are doing and has this amusing way of talking with his hands that completely mesmerises me and i don't hear any of his mutterings.  At the end of the briefing we sign a bit of paper to acknowledge our presence and are then told we will be required to "Carol Sing" in the foyer of the shop if we are working on either the 16/17 Dec.

Now I don't mind wearing a particular colour on a special occasion or even the odd silly hat or as i did not long ago a pair of "Panda ears" to advertise a "Kung Fu Panda" DVD.  But "Carol singing"  No, I might have a sore throat that day! 

I see a bloke wandering up and down the isle looking for "Something" so approach him and hes after a 5" Coconut cake by special instructions from "the wife".  I don't remember us having ever done that particular item but you go through the litany of pretending and then offering an alternative.  The only one i can see is a packet of "Weightwatchers Coconut slices"and suggest this.  "Weightwatchers" he says looking at me and says, "I might be foolhardy but I'm not that brave to present "the wife" with weightwatchers cakes!"  A wise man!

Finally then our Christmas decorations are "up" with all the usual wondering where we are going to put 4 trees and a couple of miles of coloured lights.  Its strange isn't it that all the lights work when you put them away but are duds when you take them out of the bag the following Christmas.  Mind you with these natty little bulbs and LED's now that type of thing is a thing of the past. 

A slight tinge of sadness came over the household for a while as we remembered our little "Tesco" cat having never seen the decs before climbed to the top of every tree to see what it was all about.  She then joined her brother "Sainsbury" in denuding the lower branches of most of the red baubles.  So here's a pic of Sainsbury, a "Big Boy" now doing just that a couple of days ago.

Tom the senior cat decided it was all too much and went to sleep on the pile of tinsel. 

Enjoy the day! 

Bad! paint colour & La la la la la la la la!

You know what its like you decide to do a major re-decorating job and gather all the colour charts tick off the ones you want and pop to B&Q to get the stuff!  This we did after we had the house re-roofed in 2009. 

We cracked all the upstairs and stairwell in short order but fell badly at the "spare bedroom and bathroom fences"  long ago.  So the paint has sat in our loft since then, each time i went up there i would look at it and promise to get the job finished soon but alas, all to no avail. 

With Sally now a lady of leisure, I do wish people would stop saying "retired!" she threw down the challenge and like a mug i picked it up.  Luckily i had scrawled on the tins where the paint was to go so no problem there.

The bedroom looked fine until we took down some shelves then realised that "the decorating had been long overdue!" the walls were to say the least, "grubby" a quick wipe with the old "sugar soap" and we were away.  "Looks a bit dark", she said as we applied one colour to a couple of walls but this was tempered by the other shade on the remaining walls.  It was a little dark but hey! in a bedroom your asleep, no problem then!

The bathroom looked easy but as it is tiny we decided Sally should do this on her own.   I might mention that here is a woman not too enamoured with all the preparation and cleaning up required whilst decorating.  Also her idea of painting could be described as, - -  "a little cavalier".  I asked her once to paint a shelf with books on and she even neglected to take off the books!  I did however agree to her suggestion of "going it alone!"

I was at work and received a text saying "Not so sure about the colour on the lower half of the wall.  We had decided on a 2 colour effect having done it previously downstairs with some degree of success.  I returned home and walked into what reminded me of a little used public convenience in Glasgow where all the paint looked like it had been chosen by a colour blind lunatic!  So here it is in all its glory!  It has since been over painted with a more mellow hue! 

Eeeek its a bit hard on the eye isnt it!   

On a work related matter i announced what my favourite tune was from our limited repertoire of Christmas "Musac" in my last post and have since been asked what is my least favourite.  It has to be a droning Chris Rea number which because of my position in the shop i cant really here what hes on about.  However the recurring phrase i can here is or sounds like, "And it go's La la la la la la la la la la.  Over and over again!

As we are nearing the festive time the amusing anecdotes of "the shop" will feature more and more.  I will add a few tomorrow.  Enjoy the day!    

Oh no not the Christmas music! and a scanned "Maturity" gland!

That time of year is once more upon us in the shop, the time of the "Christmas background music".  To be honest i don't mind it even after the 3 weeks of it being played over and over again.  My favourite is a take off of the Marilyn Munroe classic of "Santa Baby".

Along with the music also comes the "colleagues Christmas Dinner", its not something i have ever attended, it reminds me of too many (army) mess dinners! This years effort is going to be made all the more difficult by the dissolution of the "staff canteen" which if you remember fell upon its sword during October.  I overheard one of the managers talking loudly about how they were going to have "instant" this and "microwave" that!  this was enough to remind me not to append my name to the list. 

The preparation for the "colleagues Christmas Dinner" also caused a bit of a "stir" (no pun intended) the other day.  A "meeting" had been convened by the powers that be and went on and on in the infinite details of the dinner.  As the managers descended from their meeting the "Mystery Customer" was leaving the store having marked us down (to 92%) for not having some loaf or other out for sale!

This paled into insignificance however from an earlier visit in the week though when we scored a miserable 50%. The store was busy and there not being enough staff to man the checkouts the call went out "all trained colleagues to the checkouts" It was repeated and then repeated again and apparently ignored by everyone. This is classed as a "failure of procedure" and we were marked down accordingly.  Mmmmmmmm.  

The "not so bright colleague" mentioned in my last blog lets call him "Steven", seems to be surviving although he didn't win any friends when he said to a "fresh" colleague, "I hope none of my friends come in and see me working in this crummy little supermarket".  I bumped into another newby down near the cereal isle saying to some old dear "I know they are around here somewhere" I quickly asked him what he was after and he said "toilet rolls".  I pointed him and his charge back half way up the shop! at least he's trying! 

Now and again you will come across a scrap of paper on the floor and invariably its a scribbled shopping list, e.g loaf, rice, beer.  I came across one yesterday which was a bit of a surprise!  Carpet Plain. 36" wide (say 1 metre) 8' 9" long (say 2.4 metres!)   

Finally then. - - - An old dear approached me, one of the ones I see all the time and after a very short preamble she says, "I'm going for a scan you know".  I answer with the usual type of comment in this situation, "oh are you not well then?"  "No" she says "I'm alright but the doctor wants me to have me Maturity gland scanned!"