Oh "Crumbs" it a "Black Mark"

Such a rich vein of tittle tattle from work I dont know where to start!  An apology I suppose to anyone reading the blog who is not party to the idiosyncrasies of working at the local sainsbugs.

The title then first to set the scene, a shop with thousands of people coming and going and a little band of workers trying not to have murderous thoughts to the brat in isle 16 screaming its head off, to the unknown black sticky thing in the middle of isle 20 which needs removing!  

One of our "leaders" has taken it upon himself to rid the world of dirt or more to the point, "black marks on the floor", well maybe not the world but certainly the floor of the shop.  You can imagine the things that come in on customers footwear and all manner of bits and bobs that get ground into our wonderful tiled floor.  "Dave there are "black marks" in isle 12 get them cleaned up"  This is a litany that Dave the cleaner hears only too often.  He only starts at 11:00am and dreads approaching his little cleaning cart and seeing messages stuck to it from the "Leader" already directing him to the black marks in the shop!  

We, normal mortal colleagues are not spared this tirade and the "fresh" crew were on the verge of mutiny the other day after receiving instruction from the "Leader" about removing black marks from their isles.  I listened to an impassioned flabbergasted fresh "colleague" bemoaning the impossible task in front of them.  I concluded that they should affix a green abrasive pad to the bottom of one shoe and a mop type pad to the other and viola! problem solved.  I did however caution that they should not "scrub and clean" while talking to customers as this might bring on reports of an outbreak of St Vitus dance in the shop!  The reply was unprintable so onwards and upwards. 

I did notice that in the veg isles they had taken the job "seriously" and cleaned off all the "black marks" but then put those yellow signs everywhere making the isle look more akin to a giant slalom course, and did i see a bucket by the bailing machine with a sign on "Black Mark bucket" well maybe not?  

"Crumbs on the counter", is a scourge that befalls the bakery department, strange that it only seems to have developed into a scourge lately.  It seems that not long ago it would be a normal part of the activity of slicing hundreds of loaves a day that crumbs would accumulate and be cleaned away periodically .  Maybe if they collected the crumbs after each slicing and put them in  loaf tin then when it was full dropped in a bit of flour and water, viola!  a crumb loaf, we could sell thousands! I must "Tell Justin"! 

I came across a red faced bakery colleague, lets call her Julie, in the warehouse recounting how she disliked a particular manager type which the shop seems to be full of at times! lets call him Craig, she was bemoaning the fact that he only talked to her when "he wants something doing".  Now correct me if I'm being picky but isn't that the main way of communicating?  

She did however regain her composure later long enough to hand me what I thought at first was meant as an addition to my lunch! (box) Mmmmmm

The battery in the pic is purely for size comparison you understand!  Anyway it seems that Julie was handed this by a person in the shop foyer, I must confess if it had been handed to me I'm not sure what I would have said.  It turns out the person was from the "Arthritis Research Trust UK" and the "thing" is a foam rubber item which if you squeeze it with your hand will bring relief!  Mmmmmmm. 

I couldn't resist approaching both my Team Leader Molly and boss Tracy to go through the "hoary old chestnut" of "is this an Arthritis item in my pocket or am I really glad to see you".  Molly laughed Tracy mentioned having seen something like it at her Ann Summers party the previous evening, I did point out however that my sausage does not need batteries!
And finally - - - Some time ago we were banned from putting bread stacks in the isles, "because it made the store scruffy".  I now understand why this came about, the isles for the last week have been full of stacks of 4 pack tinned tomatoes, proclaiming that they are "Half Price" at £2.44!  so if they were full price that would make it £1.20 a tin, once more then £1.20 each tin!!!!! .  I even fell for it at the weekend ensuring Sally bought a couple of packs only to notice on Sunday that the Sainsbury's branded product was only £2.08 a 4 pack!!
 Drat foiled again mind you it go's to prove that with "Sainsbury's" "You can live well for less!"